The main difference between these two bedeviled dogs is that introverted feeling is unexpressive and extraverted feeling is expressive.
Jung says that introverted feeling appears cold upon first appearance in a person that has it dominant, usually women, which isn’t true. There are just as many men that have introverted feeling as a dominant function as there are women.
Think mafia. The higher up bosses of the mafia are like extraverted feeling types. They have a broad range of feeling values that extends very far into people space. They keep up appearances and usually have a certain physiognomy which is more on the corpulent side. They are fat and pig-like. They talk like Marlon Brando in the Godfather movie. Yes, that is an exceedingly good portrait of an extraverted feeling type.
Fi types are the underlings of the mafia. They carry out order on behalf of the fat bosses that can’t talk straight but are somehow bosses nonetheless. They are the street gangsters that are beholden to the gang. They don’t think for themselves too much. They carry out orders. They do the hits. They keep to the code. They don’t question. These would be the ISFP types.
Introverted feeling is sensitive but not expressive so you can’t really tell as an outside observer how much is seething within these people. As Jung says in his book, Psychological Types, they are like women that appear cold. Introverted feeling lacks personality. Extraverted Feeling, on the other hand, epitomizes personality. Many ENFJs are the most charismatic people on the face of the earth. People like Marlon Brando, Benicio del Toro, Elvis, and on the lighter side people like Tom Cruise. All these people are ENFJs. So, that will give you a sampling of how people with Fe as a dominant function and introverted intuition as an auxiliary function will appear. In a word, charismatic. If they are enneagram point 8 ENFJs, then they will be darkly charismatic. If they are enneagram point 3 ENFJs, they will be lightly charismatic. The point is that extraverted feeling is great for actors, politicians, and anyone in show business where charisma and personality is a necessity.
Contrarily, introverted feeling is pretty much the opposite of charisma and personality. Many of the people that have it possess a quiet charm, but it often lacks the graciousness of extraverted feeling. There is a paucity to it as if the personality were eclipsed in some way. Once you get a feeling for this is becomes unmistakable.
Also, with any dominant introverted function, it can be harder to see it in a person such that an introverted feeling type person could appear more like an introverted thinking person, especially if they are an INFP. ISFPs usually appear like quiet, dark, and respectable people. They are not necessarily dark in coloring but there is an unmistakable muting to their personality. And introverted feeling is a bit like this, the feeling of not having a voice and being inarticulate. It is like having these burning feelings and desires that are very difficult to express openly. So, there is generally quite a lot of secrecy with these folks. Like the mafia thing I was talking about above.
Extraverted feeling types, on the other hand, often express themselves quite well, but it is often through artistic expression where this flowers in the fullest. Think those fat and wailing opera singers like Pavarotti. They can blow you away with the fullness and power of their expression.
So far, I have been talking about these two functions when they are dominant functions. It can be quite illustrative to consider how they express when they are auxiliary functions of a type because auxiliary functions are “show functions” and this is true even if the auxiliary function is introverted.
So, ENFP and ESFP have introverted feeling as an auxiliary function, the auxiliary function generally being the function of greatest visibility in any Myers-Briggs type. For ESFPs this makes them great porn stars for example because introverted feeling is like sex itself. It is desire, magnetism, and ultra-femininity. The most sexual people in the world are ESFPs. Sex is their specialty and they can hardly help coming across in a sexual manner. Because ESFPs have extraverted sensation as a dominant function it makes them very body conscious in an unselfconscious manner. So you combine extraverted sensation and introverted feeling and you get sex itself. Extraverted sensation + introverted feeling = sex. Yes, there will be a test on this later.
Now, for ENFPs, introverted feeling as an auxiliary function manifests in a somewhat similar fashion to ESFPs because they are what is known as look-alike types in Socionics, the Russian equivalent of Myers-Briggs typology. Look-alike types have the same auxiliary function. So, on first glance they could be mistaken for each other. That is because the auxiliary function is a “show function” like I said and this show function is similar to when you put on your best face to impress other people that you don’t know.
Anyway, ENFPs often look very sexy too, especially the ones that fall at point 3 on the enneagram. However, the difference between an ENFP and ESFP, both of whom have introverted feeling as an auxiliary function is that ENFPs are much more intellectual and space-cadetish in nature than an ESFP, who are very grounded in their bodies and immediate sensory experience. The end result of this is that ENFPs, because they have extraverted intuition as a dominant function are quite out there types. They are not very conscious of their bodies and the needs of the bodies and all that. So, they are like sexy space cadets. They can be quite exotic creatures, like sexuality from another planet, an improbable creature of sex and intellectuality. Actually, intellectuality is the wrong word, but they are definitely brighter lights than ESFPs generally are.
Now let’s move on to the two Myers-Briggs types that have extraverted feeling as an auxiliary function, which would be the two look-alike types of INFJ and ISFJ. The commonality here is that both types tend to be artistic and people-pleasing in their immediate demeanors. These two types are great with people, are very articulate types, and good communicators. When they are at their best they are displaying tact, diplomacy, and smoothing-over powers of no mean order. INFJ and ISFJ know how to put other people at ease.
Alright, getting back to the mob bosses, the Vito Corleones of the world. These are the types that have dominant extraverted feeling. They have a general background of know-how with the instinctive organization of people, where everybody belongs in the general ranks of their mafia organization. They know when someone is growing too powerful and needs to be taken down a peg, and they recognize new talent that should be promoted and bumped up a rank. This is their general worldview. The world is full of people with different potentialities and they can instinctively sense who is who and where they belong. This is extraverted judgment in general but with extraverted feeling it is more of a felt and unanalytical, non-metric, messy, and imprecise type thing than the extraverted thinking type way of sorting things out. Extraverted thinking is the other extraverted judging function and because it is a thinking function, they tend to be better with things rather than people. Which is not to say they won’t treat people like things because they do it all the time across this lovely world of ours.
Now, these mob bosses are more the extraverted feeling types with an introverted intuition auxiliary. The other type of dominant extraverted feeling is the ESFJ type, who has introverted sensation as an auxiliary rather than introverted intuition. The upshot of this is that ESFJs are a lot nicer and gentler than ENFJs. They still have the dominant extraverted feeling like ENFJs but introverted sensation as an auxiliary paints quite a different picture than having introverted intuition as an auxiliary function.
Picture the fat and happy chef. So, the commonality is that ENFJs and ESFJs are both fat. But, ENFJs are angry and unhappy as a general rule unless they are Tom Cruise, and ESFJs are like pigs rolling happily in the mud.
ESFJs, with their dominant extraverted feeling, aided and abetted by introverted sensation, have no great conflicts in their nature. They are lovers of good food, good entertainment, and good sex, and whatever is good and pleasurable. ENFJs would be like this too if they didn’t have introverted intuition as their auxiliary function. Introverted intuition ruins everything. It makes the owners of such a function tortured, complex, enigmatic, inarticulate, visionary, and just generally unhappy with the way things are. The upshot of that is that ENFJs tend to be sinister, cruel, and people-abusing and using types.
This is because of introverted intuition and not because of extraverted feeling in and of itself. Extraverted feeling in and of itself is pretty fat, dumb, and happy. It is enjoyment, entertainment, and expansiveness.
Introverted feeling tends to be the opposite of those positive type of feelings. It tends to bring on feelings of love, devotion, loyalty (or betrayal when it gets tired of being taken advantage of), maudlin and sentimental feelings, trust, honor, authenticity and basically all these type of feelings that can set you up to be a tortured and tormented soul. Love alone will bring you all kinds of sorrow whether you intended for this to be the case or not. In the matter of love, since it is such an important topic, I will leave off and say that in general introverted feeling desires to be the giver of love and that extraverted feeling is most fortunate to be in the position of receiving love. Them is the general rules. If you don’t like them, consult your local god. I didn’t make these rules.
O, and I forgot to mention INFPs. Well, that should tell you something right there about being an introverted feeling dominant type with auxiliary extraverted intuition. Nobody notices you.
Except for that special someone. Wink, wink.