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Astrology is bullshit, now come get a chart reading

July 23, 2024 By blake@stellarmaze.com

Astrology is bullshit. Just kidding.

I haven’t wanted to offer astro-chart reading services up until now because I think the whole concept of getting your chart read is flawed: You can’t get your chart “read” to you. Plus, the interpretations I see are rubbish where all things become equal in a chart. And it encourages a passive, fatalistic approach where a person is sitting back having the soothsayer read their future and potentials to them. That shit don’t work.

What does work is my method, or at least it works way better than any other canned chart interpretations, mainly addressing point 2: all things become equal.

This is where 80/20 principle becomes important. Briefly, this is the principle of how 20 percent causes 80 percent of the result. It’s similar in a birth chart, it’s similar with most anything in life.

So, that’s the first thing I do, pull this out of the chart for a client. Because frankly, I don’t have the time to bullshit around with every little factor in a birth chart, which are many and numerous.

2. If you’re an INFJ, which you better be if you are on Stellar Maze, your astro chart will tell you what kind of INFJ you are (hint: there are 10 types). Where else can you find this information? Nowhere.

These chart readings are like nothing you are used to

They are

  1. 80/20
  2. Ni
  3. No-bullshit

That’s three ways of saying the same thing. Happy?

What you’re gonna get

Stream-of-conscious bullshit from a master of bullshit, however it will be poetic bullshit. It will be a Blake SM style interpretation of YOUR precious birth chart similar to how I have written articles on this site. If you like that style, that’s what I’m gonna do.

What jumps out at me?

That will be the first layer of non-bullshit, 80/20 interpretation, and I’m really good at that: reading the whole, and then pulling the guts out of it in a no-nonsense, no-bullshit, poetically-sensitive, brutally beautiful way, like you have come to expect.

What are your main struggles?

I could blow smoke up your ass and tell you all these wonderful, positive things that will happen as a result of you being born, but what’s the fun in that?

Don’t you want to hear the real shit? Don’t you want to know what’s holding you back from being the biggest, badassest motherfucker in the galaxy of human stars?

No?

Well, that’s what I’m gonna do anyway, because that’s my bent, and the astro-chart is very useful for this.

Then, I can come in and pour some sugar on your wounds, and tell you ways you can get yourself out of a sea of karmic troubles using YOUR STRENGTHS as designated by your birth chart.

Ready for the poetry and the pain?

Call Blake today for a reading like no other.

Price: 350 USD


To reach Blake for this illustrious chart service, send him an email at blake@stellarmaze.com with I WANT CHART in header of email to get started.

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Filed Under: Astrology

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